Newspaper managers around the world are cutting costs by eliminating the jobs of sub-editors, also known as copy editors. The thinking is that reporters can file their copy directly into "news holes" on the pages. It sounds like a good idea - but if that had been the case in the past, these howlers (collected by me and some of my colleagues) would have made it into print:
"... running up and down the halls of the southside watering hole, playing backyard cricket in its upstairs hallways."
Tonight's campaign launch, which shows Mr Potter traipsing to his rival's Dallas headquarters, delivering his monologue from a windy rooftop in the Texan capital ... [Dallas is not the capital of Texas.]
But opposition council spokesman Campbell Newman ... [At the time Newman was the Liberal mayoral candidate.]
"We have taken over the building next store ..." [Or next door, perhaps.]
"... he's just absolutely wrapped." [In plastic?]
"the mentally insane"
Decked out as Sandy and Danny from the musical Greece, ...
... camped out under the stars with visitors from as far away as Chilli, Africa and China.
The collapse of Australia's newest airline, business-class carrier OzJet, was never going to work, analysts said today. [Actually, the collapse worked quite well.]
"I'm equally happy in the classical and contemporary repertoire, maybe the classical has a slight edge, but I'm so looking forward to the Brisbane premiere of Murphy's Swan Lake with its glorious Tchaikovsky music after four months off with hip surgery". [What?]
Det Sen Sgt Weller said because there was an unknown assailant acting for an unknown reason there was an unknown risk to the woman. [Translation: We know nothing.]
Greece's proximity to the Middle East, its accessibility by land, sea and water makes it more susceptible to the potential of terrorism ...
Yesterday, the barometer had already hit 21 degrees ... [Sorry, wrong meter.]
Exhibitionists believe the release of the action blockbuster Pirates of the Carribean ... [Exhibitors perhaps?]
Weighing approximately 600- 700 grams and appearing to be in good health- the zoo keepers haven't been able to get close enough to see if it is a boy or a girl. [World's smallest zoo keepers.]
Paul Chubb, 51, ... was just 50 when he died of cancer. [He was 53.]
New Age religions such as Buddhism ... [Comment: it dates back to the 6th Century BC]
It is a well known cliche ... [As opposed to a little-known cliche.]
Meanwhile, Queensland homicide victims are hoping to present State Parliament with a petition ... [As ghosts?]
... a staunch family man with five children, including quintuplets ...
Prime Minister John Howard this morning started a full round of Japanese talks with a meeting with Foreign Minister Yoriko Kawaguchi. [Howard doesn't speak Japanese.]
Special guests paid between $250 and $275 a head to enjoy the occasion which began with a video montague of Beattie's political past. [Or was it a montage?]
With tours of duty both in Vietnam and the United States, the now retired Maj-General ... [A tour of duty at home?]
... bears an uncanny resemblance to her famous father. [It's not uncanny to look like your father.]
The best scenario for us is for the markets to rally and go back towards the ceiling of our contracts so we fully capture the upside and we roll those contracts and get more upside on the rolls. [Simple, really.]
He was without doubt Brisbane's musical Pied Piper ... [He lures children away from their parents? He should be locked up.]
The community golf course ... is the most unique in the world. [Unique is absolute.]
The guest list read like a Who's Who of Aussie cricket. Special guest speakers were Ian Chappel, Jeff Thompson and Ian Healey. [Incredibly, all names are incorrectly spelled.]
Eight people have died in house fires in just over four months in Brisbane, Toowoomba and the Sunshine Coast. Two thirds of the victims were elderly. [Two-thirds of eight is 5 1/3.]
Research by the University of Queensland ... shows that the homicide of tourists in Australia is the exception rather than the rule. [Thank goodness.]
"Cabbage Patch Kids' hair was made out of wool but now it's real dolls' hair." [Taken from real dolls presumably.]
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