Bounder to adventure

I'm starting to feel like Mr Smoke Too Much in Monty Python's Travel Agent sketch. The flight for my package holiday to Malaga has been delayed - again. It's now due to fly out of Glasgow at 3pm. I woke up at 2.30am and I have been at the airport since 4am. I could be half-way to Australia by now! I can't even get a Watney's Red Barrell - not because it's England and the pub shuts every time your thirsty (it's Scotland and the pub is never closed), but because they don't sell it any more. Also, I don't think it's wise to start drinking just yet ...