Debritz.net

I've just encountered the worst busker I've ever heard, outside Woolworths in Glasgow's Argyle Street. If I were the manager, I'd give her money to go and sing outside Argos.

According to an application on Facebook, I'm actually 9 years younger than my biological age. And, yes, I did answer the questions honestly.

Reader Sam sent me this riddle:
Brad stared through the dirty soot-smeared window on the 22nd floor of the office tower. Overcome with depression he slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop outside the building to the ground. Miraculously after he landed he was completely unhurt. Since there was nothing to cushion his fall or slow his descent, how could he have survived the fall?
The answer is here.

From the Sydney Morning Herald:

Ali Fauzi headed to the prison island of Nusakambangan by boat about 5.30am Sydney time to oversee the religious rights on the bodies.

... without opening it. The subject line is "Informations".

A grownup - possibly a teacher or assisting parent - was leading some children through the White Tower at the Tower of London today. As we were all descending a narrow staircase, I heard her tell them that Sleeping Beauty was at rest in the tower waiting for her prince to come. "Hold on," said one of the kids. "Isn't that just a fairy tale?"
PS: I don't understand why the woman even attempted to lie, because the truth about this historic site is a great yarn in itself.

I was disappointed to discover at Hamleys, the famous London toy store, that Monopoly now comes with an "electronic banking unit" - i.e. a calculator. Perfect for a generation that can no longer add up and subtract ...

This sign is on a city tour bus in Liverpool:

If I'd taken it literally, it would have ruined my plans for the rest of my life.

A temporary sign directing drivers to Sidney Sussex College at the famed Cambridge University points to the "collage" car park. Details here.

Is this the end of the world as we know it? The Telegraph's Harry Wallop ("Cods" to his mates?) tells us that not since William of Orange have Britons been able to drink beer in two-thirds of a pint measures. But that may soon be the case with a move to introduce the new measure, apparently to attract female drinkers for whom a pint is too much but a half is not enough.

A tarot reader in the UK his creating a more profitable future for him/herself thanks to something called "drop calling". They are phoning residents and businesses but hanging up after just two or three rings. If the person rings back, they are charged a minimum of two pounds for a premium call.

It's probably not be noted on your 2008 calendar, but this year is the 500th anniversary of the first recorded printed occurrence of the F-word. William Dunbar used it in a Scots-language poem, Brash of Wowing, published in 1508. It's apparently about a maid being seduced by a flash city boy, and you can read it here.

Is this discriminatory, or is it jargon I don't understand? An online job advertisement states:

Our client a contract publishing agency based in central London is looking for a mid-weight art director.

I've just received an email from my financial advisor trying to allay my fears about the market crash. He says there are two possible future scenarios:
Firstly, and I'm paraphrasing here, the global government action gets it right and we'll all be rich.
Secondly, and I'm quoting directly, "... that government will get it wrong, in which cash we will enter financial oblivion. If this is the case then the growth of your portfolio, or the size of your bank balance will be largely irrelevent as we would be returning to the barter system. In short if this happens then money as we know it would not matter."
At last, I can sleep at night.

I just saw an advertisement for a Pantene hair product and noticed that the voice-over person pronounced the brand name as "Pan-ten". From memory, in Australia it's pronounced "Pan-teen". Still, I grew up saying "Nessles" instead of "Nes-lay".
PS: Who exactly does say pot-ar-to?

From the Teletext Holidays website. Hey, they've got one of those in Rome too.

Warning on a tin of Marks and Spencer peanuts:

May contain traces of other nuts.

This is the first line of a regular email I get from the UK Daily Mail:

Surely an email from a newspaper should be in plain English. Why have "issues" when they really mean problems?

... if you've just eaten. A kebab shop in Britain was closed down when a dead body was found next to a man preparing food. The whole story, including spit, a dead rat, flies, smoking and oozing blood is here.

Fireworks were banned in Queensland when I was still a child; but they are still on sale in China (no surprise) and in Scotland (big surprise to me). Of course, the companies selling them are very responsible, issuing lots of warnings about how to use them properly. Ijust hope that, come November 5*, the people using them are responsible too.
* The day after my birthday and, to a lesser extent, Guy Fawkes' Night.